No Kareem Abdul-Jabaar Action Figures Were Injured During The Writing Of This Blog

How are you at interpreting dreams? I have two dreams for you. I hope you can shed some light on their meanings. Do your very best. My life may or may not depend on it.

Thank you.

Today at naptime, (yes, I'm 29 and I still nap) I had a dream. It was a dream I've had before. Well, not really a reoccuring dream, more like one in a series or one that is similar to another I've had before. Nevermind. In today's dream, I was thinking about going the gym, but I was worried because I wasn't appropriately dressed for a workout. I was wearing princess shoes. By princess shoes, I don't mean Manolo Blahniks I mean:


Come to think of it, I'm not sure what I was so worried about. Those look like a completely rational choice for workout shoes.
So inspite of my pretty shoes, I was talked into going to the gym by Ryan who informed me that I needed to go to the gym so he could come with me and "look for ladies." Either I'm a complete sucker or I feel bad for Ryan and his cat because this logic worked on me.

We arrived at my little community gym only to find it was a hopping two story gym. I began the sign-in process while Ryan headed upstairs to begin his quest for a girlfriend. After the rigorous sign-in process, I headed upstairs to find Ryan only to find that once I got upstairs there were no more treadmills, free weights or exercise classes. Instead, there was an arcade, a Las Vegas style room where people placed bets on a variety of activities and, my favorite, the King Arthur Style pit that people were gathered around to watch a medieval show.
I never did find Ryan, and I woke up wondering if I have a new sister-in-law.

*****


Dream number two started in the toy room. There was some kind of an explosion. Toys were running for their non-lives. I don't know who exactly was chasing the toys, but the carnage was unlike anything I'd ever seen before.

Unspeakable things.

I've managed to upload a few of the mental images from my dream (it's a high-tech, top-secret process). I warn you though, it's not for the faint of heart or for those with sensitive stomachs.

Megatron as a double amputee

Say it isn't so, Megatron. Not BOTH legs.

I'm sorry. I have to look away.

Decapitated Raphel
Raphael, oh Raphael. What have they done to you?

Services will be held on Tuesday.



The Battlefield post battle

As you can see, the fall-out was severe and Raphael wasn't the only one that didn't make it out alive. Honestly, there isn't much to say when something this horrifying happens. It's just so sad...


The Get-Away plane still waiting for suviors to find it.
One of the saddest parts is that upon further review there is clearly a get-away airplane there on the left that no survivors could get to or maybe they couldn't fit into it. Either way, there are dead action figures everywhere. Even Baby Tad (large green frog that teaches abc's) went down.
NOOOOO, not April!!!
No, no, no, no...I refuse to believe it. Not...not...not...April. This is a nightmare of epic proportions.

Who would do such a thing?

Braden- January 2009


I'm starting to believe this one wasn't a dream at all.


6 comments:

Dione said...

Oh my, your little terror is so cute I could just eat him up! I've seen that type of carnage before!

I must confess, I'm 40 and still take naps. That's why I'm awake, typing on the computer while everyone else is asleep.

Today I had a dream that I came home to something like a college dorm and all these boys were wearing my kilts. It was rather disturbing, esp since they didn't fit in them.

Then I ended up at Arctic Circle (a Utah burger joint that is famous for their fry sauce and dipped ice cream cones) and there was this huge ice cream station. Then I got free toys for Allie and my baby daughter (that I don't have). I was so excited that I was going to put them away for Christmas.

Sorry to write a book on your comment section. I know, I know, GET YOUR OWN BLOG!

Missy said...

lol, I write books in your comment section all the time...
You own kilts? May I ask why?

The Godfather said...

lol awesome dream....sadly after your dream i am still single and looking for Ms. Right. However this casino lounge might be a good place to continue the search.

Grand Pooba said...

Hahaha! Your first dream means that you were meant to be a show girl in Vegas. The shoes, the vegas arcade, it's so obvious!

Missy said...

My true calling. I feel such a sense of peace now. I'm sorry, Matt, I'm booking my flight to Vegas as I type this...

Punk said...

I love that cute boy.

And I honestly don't know why our action figures haven't suffered a similar apocalypic demise. I mean, seriously, with two boys and a surplus of action figures?

And it was very obvious to me that your dream was about football.