Going to a summer festival with the family can be fun, however, it can get a little expensive, especially if you have more than one kid. So here are my suggestions for creating your own summer fair.
Start with a nice home cooked meal of Sausage and Peppers. For a family of four this will save you at least $68.24. Of course you'll have to fight with your three year old child to eat his pepper and onions. Then most of them will end up in the garbage anyway, but hey, at least it won't feel like you've thrown actual cash into a garbage can.
Perhaps you thought that eating a home cooked meal (instead of going out for one) would mean that mom has to clean up afterwards and that's not fun for you. However, if you believe in child labor like I do this won't be a problem.
As a side note, by not going to an actual fair you won't have to put pants on your kid. See Braden helping himself to grated Parmesan cheese and chocolate sauce. Come to think of it, you won't have to wear pants either if you choose not to.
What about those pesky rides your kids always want to go on? You know the ones that cost you a month's salary for three rides. Solution: the airplane. Not only did I work all the muscles in my legs and abs by doing this but she's smiling and no one had to look for a ticket booth or interact with the creepy guy running the control panel. Win-win if you ask me.
(yeah, yeah, I need a pedicure. In my defense my eyebrows are looking pretty darn good these days, so there is that.)
Maybe you are concerned that your kids will feel bad that they don't get any new toys as prizes. (read junk to clutter up your house) Odds are good that there is a toy in the bottom of the toy box that they have forgotten about or that you could find an alternate use for. See here, Braden has won a hat that can also double as a bucket. He didn't have to struggle to pull a ducky out of water either. He won just for being cute, no skill was involved whatsoever.
Cotton Candy is a staple for any good fair. Now you have options here. You could rent a cotton candy machine and make your own, or buy one because as everyone knows owning a cotton candy machine looks good on a credit report. But if you are like me and trying to keep your budget to under 25 cents per person then freeze pops are the way to go. They're kids, what'da they know?
For the more upscale fairs a petting zoo is necessary. Tony has generously donated his cat for this cause. Cats are great for petting zoos because they run away when you try to touch them. It's great fun. Chasing a cat. The stories I could tell. Ah, good times.
As we all know most outings end like this. With crying and incoherent whining. The beauty of the stay-at-home-fair is that the bed is merely two rooms away. You can pop your kids into bed and sit down and relax in the house that your 5 year old has already cleaned up.
Pure awesome if you ask me.