Why Does She Have A Picture Of A Naked Man On Her Blog?

My mom visits my blog on a regular basis because well, she's my mom and is therefore morally obligated to do so. From what I hear she turned to my dad yesterday and said, "Why does Missy have a picture of a naked man on her blog?" Mom, I love you but that naked man has been up there since the beginning of the month. I have no idea how you couldn't have noticed. He's so there. He's so hairy. He's so naked.
For anyone else who is confused by my choice of header let me take a moment to explain. Last month I did a poll to determine what each of you felt was the most dignified. It came down to a tie between, Two mothers doing a chest bump and 80's rockers in full make-up and performance attire. I let Butter be the tie-breaker. Thus naked rocker for a header. (if anyone cares to take a guess at who the naked rocker is have at it in the comment section.)

Mom, next time you might want to consider voting in the poll.

I did nothing today. Well that's not true, I cleaned the ink out of my dryer (yes, clothes were ruined) and cleaned up the kids toys that had managed to take over my house in spite of dedicating an entire room to them. I'm starting to see the beauty and genius of Snickerdoodle's (formerly Dione of the West Coast Seegrists) idea of locking the toy room up. Perhaps with the kids in it...I would never...

So in the midst of all this titillating excitement I walked past my computer and saw the orange flashy of the IM. The orange flashy is not to be ignored and should never be made to wait unless of course you have to pee and even then you could hold it. It was Tony sending me a link to a review of the Green Day show we are preparing to go see next weekend.

According to the review in Spin Magazine,

Armstrong pulled onstage no less than six ecstatic fans from the front row and gave each the spotlight, for better or worse.

The result of Billie Joe Armstrong's actions were, a fan playing one of Green Day's older songs on guitar, a fan singing Longview in it's entirety and then a (male) fan kissed Billie Joe right on the lips.

Even though we have floor seats, the chances are extremely slim that any of us would get pulled up on stage. (sorry to break it to you Coach I know you love the limelight and would no doubt rip your shirt off flashing your unwaxed chest to the entire crowd. Then I imagine that you would scream something unintelligible and get lost trying to find your way off the stage. I know you so well.) In spite of the unlikely hood of getting called on stage Tony has cautioned me (in IM speak), "u better learn all the words."

I'm taking no chances. I don't know how to play the guitar and even though yesterday I said I'd leave Coach for one of members of Green Day I have no desire to kiss any of those boys. So I need to learn all the lyrics to all of their songs or at least the ones on the play list for this tour. The concert is only 4 days away and that doesn't leave me much time. Desperate times call for desperate measures. My plan here is to print off all of the lyrics to their songs, highlighting major phrases and key changes. Place them all in a binder, in effect creating a Green Day Concert Study Guide. I may have to pull an all nighter at some point so if you don't hear from me one night, I'm sure you'll understand.

I'd hate to get one on one with Billie Joe in front of a sold-out crowd and be all I'm great at Rummy and also know how to get an ink stain out of a dryer.

Finger Nail Polish Remover, Baby. Finger Nail Polish Remover.

I'm am so Punk Rock.

5 comments:

Dione said...

I'm laughing. I'm picturing you painting the ink spots with nail polish (or did you mean to say nail polish remover?). You will have nail polish stains rather than ink stains, but at least you get to choose your color.

I'm kinda gonna miss hairy naked rocker man - I wish I had a suggestion - Let me think about it and get back to you.

Missy said...

Dione, I stand corrected. I did use finger nail polish romover and now my post accurately says that.

Oh, and I'm sure that hairy naked rocker man will be happy to know that not everyone is afraid of him.

tonymontana11484 said...

Awesome! learn away! Green day will be proud.

As for Hairy Naked Rocker Man. He looks kind of like a frog holding a guitar. He's probably got some charisma though.

coach said...

That hairy naked man should never be taken off. Where else are you going to find something or someone as cool as that. I think you keep the stud up there and let things stay the same. There is no need for change! By the way if they pick me to go on stage I have no problem going down to my underwear, one prob though i don't know all the words. Guess we have to bring HOT MISSY on stage too!

Punk said...

My two cents for what they're worth:

Green Day. You want pictures of the concert.

Or Our Lady Peace. Your choice. *shrug*

Though, in honor of our vacation and actual presence, perhaps you want your banner to be a tribute, an ode, if you will, to the Punks. You know that'll draw in readers.