John Mayer Vs. US Weekly

This morning I heard an interview by John Mayer in which he said that for his last album he created a secret studio inside a house somewhere so that the paparazzi couldn't find him and give him a "defensive heart." He felt that as a result of this was that his album came from a more positive heart. (I'm not making this up) The interview segment ended with John Mayer calling out Us Weekly by claiming that his (John's) writing is better than anything printed by US Weekly. That no one would look back to US Weekly and reread their stuff but that his stuff would last forever. (because it's music)

I'm sorry to John, but I think it's safe to say that at some point in the future we will most definitely be looking back at what US Weekly taught us. Maybe not on purpose, but one day you are going to be flipping channels and stop on VH1 and I Love 2009 will be on and you won't be able to resist. You'll sit and reminisce about all of the wardrobe malfunctions on DWTS and think about how Kayne West picked on that cute little blond girl. Oh, the memories of all those sleepless nights spent wondering if Katie and Tom would go the distance will come rushing back. Yes, US Weekly has definitely made it's mark.

Even though John was wrong about no one caring about US Weekly in the future, he could very well be right about being a better writer. I think that thought deserves further consideration. Let's examine a few quotes from each party before we draw our conclusion.

First Us Weekly's take on love and parenting:

The worst part about making a sex tape? For Pamela Anderson, it was having to tell her kids about it...So, she sat down her sons, Brandon, 12, and Dylan, 11, for the talk. (Find out what Pamela Anderson's bra size is!)
"I just said, 'Look, Mommy and Daddy were massively in love, we videotaped everything, everything was videotaped, and you’re probably going to hear about something at school,'" she recalled.

Very touching and moving US Weekly. Can John Mayer possible be any better than that? Let's explore his lyrical genius.

On love (to be fair most of his lyrics are about love and sex so I just went with his latest single, Who Says):

Who says I can't get stoned
Call up a girl that I used to know
Fake love for an hour or so
Who says I can't get stoned

Well John, the answer to your question is the United States Government.

On parenting (it is important to note that John doesn't have any children):

On behalf of every man Looking out for every girl
You are the god and the weight of her world
So fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers, be good to your daughters too

Even though there is no practical advice in these lyric (such as how to talk to your kids about sex tapes), I like how he speaks on behalf of every man. How he shares that it's heart's desire to look out for every girl...I actually think that the original lyric to Who Says read, "Look out for an hour or so" but they substituted "fake love" at the last second.

This is a close fight. Who is the better writer? The literary genuis of 2009 is...?