Confessions From the Bottle-Fed

Yesterday I was talking to my mom, and she said, "I'm expecting a funny blog from you tomorrow. You've kept me laughing all week." Mom, I'm sorry this blog hasn't been funny since. I can only think of two possible reasons for my inability to pump out humor: 1) My mother didn't breastfeed me or 2) that I have been unable to locate a  picture of Trent Edwards' new haircut. Either way, perhaps a little confessing will clear up my issues.
  • On Monday I saw a woman breastfeeding her tiny baby in the mall and was tempted to high five her.Viva la boobies con latte!
  • I'm not sure how many different languages I used to write that last sentence.
  • I find myself in a Meredith Grey state of mind. As we all know, not only is Meredith not a real person, she's not funny at all. Actually she's quite melodramatic (and mildly annoying). Of course in my analogy Matt is Dr. McDreamy, so score one for me.
  • I have a tattoo that was inspired by a sermon. 
  • It has become clear that I am a bad influence on my own children. Bella has developed a crush on Buffalo Bills player Paul Pozlusny. She even asked me to google pictures of him.

  • I knew absolutely nothing about blogging when I started this blog. Now that I've been wandering around the bloggysphere for almost a year, I am convinced that I know even less.
  • I sent Bella out into 8 inches of snow today in rain boots because her winter boots from last year are too small and her new winter boots are a Christmas gift from someone else. She didn't seem to mind and her feet were toasty warm.
  • I Googled "Popular bands in  1981" today and found:
 
 Hall and Oats




Oh, 1981, why did you have to end and leave us with bands like The Pussycat Dolls?

  • I just watched videos for all three of the bands from 1981 and enjoyed it so much I thought I should share one of the videos with you. It was a tight race. Rick Springfield make a strong case for himself with his killer dance moves, but he was no match for Hall and Oates gratuitous use of a saxophone, snapping and a panther. I also like how the Hall and Oates video make me think about important issues like, "Why did God entrust facial hair to men when they so clearly didn't know what to do with it?"


12 comments:

Sarah Brown said...

Nothing like a good blog post before heading to bed--thanks for the smile--I miss the 80's too=)

The Boob Nazi said...

Sometimes, it's just hard to be funny all the time! That's why funny blog writers tend to get burned out.

Anti-Supermom said...

Maneater - thank you for that, I'll be singing it all night long.

The above poster is right, it's hard to be funny all the time - sometimes I'm not, I'm a big stick-in-the-virtual-mud but then other. people comment.

Variety works too or maybe you're just screwed because of the lack of boobie action as a babe ;)

Dione said...

I guess I'm easy to please because I always think you're funny!

I can totally understand now why my mom didn't allow me to watch MTV growing up - That was one racy video!

Between you not being breastfed and me not getting to watch MTV as a teenager in the 80's, you and I should probably get therapy! Oh wait, I already did.

Rachel@just another day in paradise said...

my tattoo was inspired by. . .well, never mind. Things were much simpler in the 80's: bad hair, bad clothes, but rockin' music! We were so cool. : )

Cristina said...

Man I love the 80s!

I make my kids listen to it all time...everybody wants to rule the world - I heard my 5 year old singing in the shower.

Oh come on. It's good for em!

Viva la boobies con latte!

xx

Cristina

Ma What's 4 dinner said...

Rock on REO Speedwagon...I heard they're touring!


Alex aka Ma What's For Dinner?
www.MaWhats4Dinner.com

Punk said...

I'm with Dione: you always make me laugh. Sometimes I even snort things out of my nose.

However, I must take this moment to ask in all seriousness, why in the world were you googling popular bands from 1981? What's up with that?

Missy said...

For Butter's bio. She was born in 1981 and I thought it would be funny to throw a name of a popular band from 81 in there.

Punk said...

I love you. Butter was born in 1982. Birdie was born in 1981.

Missy said...

Yes, but she was conceived in 1981 and that's what we were researching. Musical groups that might have been on the radio while she was conceived...

Punk said...

See your post above my last post for the words "She was born in 1981." Thank you.

Also, ewwwwww.