I Married A Man That LOLs, And I'm OK With That

Today is Matt's and my eighth wedding anniversary. Even though I tried to convince him that hockey games are a perfectly suitable anniversary date, he did not agree. We kept it simple and did dinner and a movie over the weekend and since the kids and I are leaving for Jessica's in the morning, tonight we are going to have a movie night at home with the kids.

Since this is the first year I've blogged on my anniversary, I was trying to decide how I should handle it. I've seen a lot of people recap their marriage each year on their anniversary. I've already done a post like that and while it might be shocking to know, I really try not to repeat myself too much. I could gush about Matt, but that always makes me uncomfortable when people gush about the one they love on the Internet. Seriously, boys, if you want to tell your girlfriend that she's special to you and you love her, don't facebook her. PICK UP A PHONE. Clearly, I prefer to tell people how I feel in person.

Sorry, rant over.

Matt and I met when we were nineteen. I remember when we sat down with his parents at twenty and told them we wanted to get married. "You are too young. Please wait," they begged. When it became clear that we weren't budging on the issue, his mother made just one more request, "Please at least wait until 2002."
We obliged her request and got married on the first Saturday in 2002.

So I was reading one of the blogs I frequent. A definite guilty pleasure. One of the authors was sharing how he and his girlfriend had begun to seriously discuss marriage and some of the commenters gushed and congratulated, but some warned that they were too young. They don't have it together enough to be married. One commenter's thoughts so disturbed me I feel the need to share them with you:
My recommendation would be to NOT get married and to fornicate. Seriously. Don't get married. With your job situation and schooling, either practice some self control or just have sex and get married in a couple of years. Knowing what I know now and looking back 18 years I would run from you like a hooker from a cop. Not that I don't think you'll eventually get your sh** (edited b/c this is my blog and we don't swear here) together, it just wouldn't be while trying to be married and producing those 12 kids you want. So if you can't wait for the sex, do it, but don't get married.
I know. I am going straight to hell.
I seriously hope he runs from this advice like a wise man from a fool. He is young, we were young, my parent's were young. Age has nothing to do with how successful your marriage will be. It's about the choices you make. The love you choose to give. The respect you choose to share.

When we got married, we chose to repeat traditional vows. For some using their own words means something but for me using the words that so many before had used meant something. In the vows you say, "I promise to love and cherish you..." A promise isn't a feeling, it's not a binding contract, it's a choice. Everyday each person in a marriage chooses how to treat their spouse. Those choices decide how your marriage will work out.

Tomorrow I'm leaving for a ten day vacation to Jessica's without my husband. I'm pretty sure he won't read this until after I leave so I'm going to do the thing that I hate. I'm going to do it because I know Matt likes the attention and if he can put on eyeliner for me and let me wax his back because it lifts my spirits (yes, I am bizarre, I thought we had already established that) then I can do this for him.

Matt, I love you. You are a good and loving man, and I notice and appreciate the things you do for me, big or little.

Internet Buddies, I apologize for that. It was very out of character. Tomorrow's post will have dinosaurs and I might even try to work the word penis into it, I promise.

18 comments:

The Boob Nazi said...

I know which blog you're talking about....
And honestly, if I were her, I'd be running from him if I were her. I dated someone who didn't have a job and ended up not wanting to finish his education. And that's just not okay with me. I don't think he's in a place to get married at all. Then again, I'm logical and weird about these things. Like how my friends are having babies before paying off debt. I'm just not a fan.
But that's just me.

Dione said...

I think this was a sweet post that will make Coach happy! Please tell Punk hello from me! I just remembered she has a blog. So I will have to get caught up now that I'm home!

Happy anniversary!

MeghanM said...

Happy Anniversary! My husband and I are celebrating our 3rd anniversary today!

Lee the Hot Flash Queen said...

Happy Anniversary! I am hoping to make it to year one.

Tania @ Larger Family Life said...

Happy Anniversary. Wise words you have regarding the comment on the other blog and beautiful words to your dh.

London said...

Congrats! We got married young as well (23 and 20) and yes, there were plenty of people who said we were too young as well. We also said the traditional wedding vows. There's just something powerful about saying the same words that have bound so many people together in love.

(PS my best friend's name is Bethany and my hubby is Matthew, so I had to lol when I found out y'all's real names!)

Sarah and the Gentlemen said...

Happy Anniversary to you!

I like that: "Everyday each person in a marriage chooses how to treat their spouse. Those choices decide how your marriage will work out."

Shirley said...

Congratulations on 8 years of marriage! I hope you make it many many more!

Ms Bibi said...

Happy Anniversary to both of you....

This year it will be our 17th and I feel like it was yesterday. I agree age has nothing to do with getting married (as long as you are legal age), but love, respect and maturity is a must for successful marriage.

Evonne said...

Happy anniversary! I hope you have many more happy years ahead!

foxy said...

First of all, happy anny to you!

Second, I don't think anyone can give advice as to whether or not someone else should get married. The only people that know that is the couple themselves. That commenter you highlighted sounds like a freaking bitter idiot who should NOT be giving advice to young romantics.

Anonymous said...

I am so proud of you. Just for the record... we never said you were too young. Happy Anniversary! See ya tomorrow.-mom-

Grand Pooba said...

When you said we share the "exact" same anniversary I didn't realize you meant the same amount of years too!

Both of us rock don't we? Pretty sure we're the two coolest couples in the world.

The Boob Nazi said...

Oh and um... Happy Anniversary! (Please ignore the repeats in my comment above!)

C.J. said...

The problem with the commenter's comment, really, is that it presumes marriage = sex, and the only reason anybody would want to get married at a young age is to have sex. Advising someone to "fornicate"--and I find that an interesting choice of word, for all its' negative implications--instead of making an actual relationship decision is just plain really bad advice.

The bigger question is whether this person understands the commitments marriage involves, is ready to make those commitments, and is certain he's chosen the right life partner. Just having sex is a way of basically putting off the decision; many people live together because they're not sure they're ready for the commitment of marriage--and I think living together can, in some cases, lull people into a false sense of security about their relationship.

Not that anyone's asked, but my advice about whether or not to get married is this: if you have to ask, you're not ready/not with the right person.

Shell said...

Happy Anniversary!

coach said...

Happy Anniversary I love you babe. You still are the most beautiful woman and make me laugh more than anyone else I know. I am going to miss you when you leave!

Happy Anniversary,

Matthew

Together We Save said...

Great post!! Swett but not gushy... have a nice vacation.