It's a Jedi Mind Trick

When I was fifteen, my mom and I decided to take a walk to the mall.

That wasn't very riveting. Let me try again.

On a hot August day back in 1995 my mother and I decided to take a 20 mile hike. Our destination, the mall. (That was a bit better or at least more dramatic.) You might be wondering why we chose to do that. I'll give you four options.

1.Were we trying to recreate a chapter from the Little House books by not using a motorized vehicle?
2.Did we feel we needed more vitamin D in our lives?
3.Do we just love to shop that much?
4.Because we are genetically predisposed to mental illness?

I'll let you to ponder this a moment before I reveal the answer.

OK, so maybe about 10 or 11 miles into our "hike" my Mom began to feel like she couldn't make it the whole way.

"You can make it, Mom. I'll take your backpack. We are halfway there. Don't quit now," I encouraged. She continued on, and the remainder of our hike went like that. She sat and declared she couldn't go any further, and I would get her a cold drink and do my best "Little Engine That Could" impression and say, " I think you can, I think you can," and she'd get back on her feet and move forward.

She made it 18.5 miles before my dad came to pick us up. My Little Engine That Could was no match for that little red Nissan with a motor and four wheels, and she might have jumped in before he came to a complete stop. I, on the other hand, hesitated. I was only a mile and a half from the promised land. (Yes, I just referred to the mall as the promised land. I was fifteen; it was the promised land.) My dad took pity on me and walked the remaining mile and a half to the mall with me, and I arrived at the mall all sweaty and gross from a day of walking in the hot August sun with a backpack on my back and a fanny pack (yes, I just admitted that I had one of these on my person at one time in my life) and then and only then did it occur to me that I didn't want to go to the mall looking like that.

So I share this titilating story with you not to talk about how even when we think we can't go on, we always have more in us or how we should lift one another up and encourage each other on in the hard times. No, I told you this so you would see the pattern. Yesterday I convinced my mother to drive eighteen hours in one day to get to Jessica's house rather then stop halfway and sleep at a hotel like normal people.

The answer is four.

18 comments:

The Boob Nazi said...

You guys were crazy.

Best thing that ever happened to my mother and me on a walk: We were attacked by a swarm of bees. No, seriously. FUN.

Lee the Hot Flash Queen said...

I won!! That was my guess!! What do I win??

Everyday Mom Ideas said...

Oh my gosh I love this post. Way to go for a 15 yr old. This reminds me of what its like when I’m painting. Very energetic at first than half way through I feel completely burnt out. and it takes almost everything in me plus cheer leading move from my hubby to get it finished. This is probably why I only do a painting about once a year. So daunting!

London said...

Haha!

If you ever want me to read your post (although I almost always do) all you have to do is put "Jedi" in the post title. Because I'm a nerd like that. Also, the post label was just too awesome to resist...and it worked.

you will read my blog now...you will leave a comment. *waves hand in your face*

Grand Pooba said...

You just love torturing your mom don't you?!

Sarah and the Gentlemen said...

Your post labels are awesome! Seriously? 20 miles from a mall? I can't believe it. You can't suck me into your delusions... unless you're serious, of course.

Mr. Punk said...

You are awesome!

*shakes head
Whoa! Who..wha... where am I? What is all this?

Spot On Your Pants said...

Okay...first of all, thank you for my blog post. Steal my joke please! I see you are the only person who got the irony. Ha! And, yes, you can brown meat in the microwave. Between the exposure to radio waves, I'm pretty sure she depleted the meat of any nutritional value whatsoever. I'm really relating to your post, because my mom and I set off on a bike ride around a 50 mile lake one day on vacation. We saw a BEAR and right after she got a flat tire on her Schwinn or Huffy or whatever 3 speed we both had. No cell phones, back then, you know? My sister lives in Montgomery and it's the same thing - 18 hours. Hotels are for p*ssies (and people with money). Rock on!

Anonymous said...

Let me defend myself.I walked eleven or twelve miles and got a cramp that couldn't be rubbed out in my calf. I rested and then continued walking ( with a good attitude, I might add)Five miles later I got a cramp in my other calf and I all but crawled the last mile or so. All for my daughter! And as for the eighteen hour drive with five kids.... I must have lost my mind for a minute.-mom-

foxy said...

Hahaha!! Oh my - I love that your mom defended herself! Too funny!! Okay, so because I recently completed a half marathon, I know how awful that many miles can be. And I only did 13!! Kudos to both you and your mom (crazy as it may have been) to even attempt to tackle such a feat. I'm impressed.

Happy weekend to you, girl!

2busy said...

Holy cow! I was about to say you must be crazy! No way in heck!!!

Thanks for coming by my blog.

:)

Punk said...

You know who didn't accompany them?

Me.

I'm pretty sure I stayed at home, read a book, ate bon-bons and stayed cool. Actually, I don't know what I was doing. Obviously, though, this proves I didn't love either of you.

coach said...

Just thinking about that walk makes me want to take a nap. Maybe I will do that right now!

Dione said...

I'm insane and yet, I wouldn't walk 20 miles to get to the mall! However, my daughter and I went to the mall just before Christmas and couldn't figure out where we came in - so we walked around the mall in unwise shoes for over an hour (not to mention the 3 hours we walked shopping) searching for something we recognized. The problem with that is we'd been back and forth so many times that everything looked familiar!

JoeyRes said...

Cute post! I bet you didn't factor in the sweating when you decided to walk it!

JDaniel4's Mom said...

I really enjoyed this piece! Stopping by from SITS!

Sara - The Football Wife said...

sounds like a charity walk in the making...

Just Add Walter said...

haha this is great. Seems like you are a great influencer!