Is it break into a stranger's apartment?
Purchase his very own boy band?
No. (but that would be awesome. Maybe I should put that on my bucket list.)
he is going to...
Get a Senior Citizen's discount.*
Happy Birthday OLD man.**
*the large print was to make it easier for him to see.
**I may or may not have placed that tacky giant pink bow on him and then taken this picture. You can't prove anything.