Does My Mother Count As "My Public"?

Does anyone remember that post I wrote mentioning that I was moving and would be without Internet and unable to post anything for like a week? Yeah, me either, but I do vaguely remember saying something like that. I guess my mother missed that post because she posted this on my Facebook wall today:

Your public grows impatient for the new blog.

First, I had no idea I had a public. Second, I guess this means I should get some "people" so I can have them contact your people. Or perhaps my people could unpack for me...and blog for me...and cook for me...Really if I could just get my people to do everything except sleep for me that would be great.

This just in: I'm taking applications for "people". If you are interested in mundane work for no pay, send your resumes to my inbox. I'll have my people get back to you.

In the meantime, I'll show you what my people have been up to.

They bought a house. They couldn't be bothered to put sheets on the two twin mattresses they pushed together so I could sleep there. As a side note, they didn't bother to make sure the mattresses were the same height either. Where is the King when you need him? It's so hard to get good people.

Hey look, it's my new living room sans proper furniture. However, underneath that blanket is one hairless husband. Hey, why am I up taking pictures while he's sleeping? Shouldn't he be working? It might be time for a fresh waxing to remind him who is boss.

My time away from the Internet was exceptionally hard on me. There was sackcloth and ashes... and I might have openly wept at Barnes and Nobles when their free WiFi kicked in on my Touch. Sweet, sweet Twitter, I have missed you.

While I feel that my time could have been better spent obsessively checking my Facebook, Twitter, Blog and current Buffalo Bills news, the local Internet provider disagreed and didn't show up until this week. While I waited for my precious Internet, I set up my bed room. You can ooh and aah at my lack of curtains/bedskirt. Whatever, who needs those things when you have six extra bedspreads laying around your bedroom floor? I'm calling it "Clutter Chic" and it's awesome.

I'm so together I got Mallory's room put together too. I rock that way. I can accomplish in just a few days that which takes mere mortals hours upon hours.

I even baked a cake for Mallory's birthday today. It's sitting there cooling on the counter. Yes, all my dishes are done. (And yes, the cake and icing are both pink. What do you expect? She's  turning six.)

You are free to be super impressed by me. I know I am.

 Oh wait, stop, don't look in there.

Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain. Or his spectacular photography skills.

That's better. Now no one can see my mess the "Clutter Chic" motif that I've decorated my new garage with.

And just so you don't think I forgot about "the list" this picture is proof that I'm letting myself go. Note the unwashed hair under the dirty hat. Also the unplucked eyebrows that are so out of control I had to use styling gel to keep them from hanging in my eyes. Finally, the piece de resistance, a cold sore on my lip. I'm a hot mess. YES! GOAL ACHIEVED.

Don't be jealous of my hotness. A lot of Doritos and stress went into this look.


Bellsys said...

Your mom was right...this public here was awaiting. Two Jollie women and no posts? Are you twins??? Nice to see the home coming together.

Kathy English said...

HEY! Congrats on the new place. Your public is so happy that you posted again :-) Is hubby up for another wax job? hee hee

Anonymous said...

HELLO!!! It's been two whole weeks!! We missed you! love,mom

Ry said...

nice herpes.....

love the new house. i'll frequent this location.

Amanda said...

I too was growing inpatient! of course, I also have been trying not to barf on the daily so that puts a damper on any rioting and looting I'd do as a result of you not posting.

Our house was a blooming MESS for months after we moved -- at least you have some rooms in order.

JoeyRes said...

Doritos, stress and all - your public is thrilled to have you back.

My mother would have a fit if I stopped writing for 2 weeks. I hope your mom recovers!

Uptown Girl said...

you normally wash your hair? I don't consider that letting yourself go. try harder. your public would be pleased if youcould please eat more Doritos and maybe try some ice cream as well.

tbsomeday said...

lol--you are a funny girl
yes, we missed you!
i am thrilled to be your public...but i doubt i'd make the cut as your people...i'm rather useless in a lot of ways...i put stuff off forever then do a half-a** job when it's crunch time
course..maybe that's what you're looking for

new house is lovely! how very EXCITING!!!
and the fun of a new house--when you get rid of some crap you don't need...finally...some
and then organize everything
and you know behind your couch and fridge it's clean, for maybe the only time until you need a new fridge/couch or move again


ps--you look great :)

foxy said...

Don't fret... my mom says the same thing when i go too long without a post.

And what do people expect when you're moving? I mean, YOU'RE MOVING. :) Good luck with filling the people position.

Grand Pooba said...

I wanna be your public! Or people, or whatever ya call it!

Love the house!

Dione said...

While I am not exactly interested in mundane work for no pay - I do have loads of experience!

Glad you're back! My people have missed your people.

Cori said...

My public is my four month old daughter, who has no choice but to listen to me. It's much more fun that way. Not like Andrew, who walks away. Or Maggie, the beagle, who pretends to be asleep.

Sarah and the Gentlemen said...

Ooooo! I like your house (AND clutter chic is SO in)!

I too have not been blogging in honor of your not blogging... or something like that. Nonetheless, I have missed you.

P.S. That hat is awesome. If that's the worst you can do... you really have a long way to go.

Jessica and Jason said...

Clutter Chic - I'm so using that one.