A Nailbiting Tale Of Drugs, Death and Writer's Block

So here we are, six minutes until Tuesday and I haven't typed a word. Good for me. Way to procrastinate. I read this article the other day about ways to combat writer's block and one of the suggestions was to write about what you know. I think that I might subject you to a post about the best ways to procrastinate, but let's be honest, I'll never get to it.

I'm recovering nicely from my bout of death by sinus thingy. I wasn't doing so well a few days ago though. My illness had made its way into my chest and I was coughy and weezy. (I find that adding y to the end of words that don't end in y adds a much needed excitement to the life of a stay-at-home-mom.) At one point as I was standing in my bathroom struggling to breathe I strongly considered quitting smoking and then I remembered I don't smoke and pondered why God had smote me with this evil plague since I had always been so good to my lungs. I longed for an inhaler.

Then I remembered. I own an inhaler. It's sitting on my medicine shelf. Now before I continue telling this riveting story about how I died, let's take a small detour into an even more boring story.

I cleaned my bathroom shelf, including my medicines. I found that I had in my possession a great many expired medications. For example, this bottle of Tylenol Arthritis that expired, well I'll let the picture tell you when.

 

I find it increases street value if you let pills age. Another six months and I should be able to pull 3 cents per pill on the mean streets.

So back to the inhaler. I'm not sure, but I feel pretty confident that the medicine in the inhaler has expired. I'm not sure when because I can't be bothered to check such things. Another interesting note on the inhaler, it's not mine. It's a hand me down. Seriously. Someone handed their inhaler (medicine included) down to me awhile back while I was suffering from death by allergies.

As I stood in my bathroom I considered what the effects of using an expired inhaler might be. If things went bad how would I explain to an ER Doctor that I had used someone's expired medication? I could try the Bill Clinton argument that I hadn't inhaled, but I'd no doubt be subjected to a lecture that is usually reserved for Jr. High kids about how using someone elses medications is very dangerous and I'm lucky not to be dead anyway.

And now the conclusion of this nailbiter.

I left the inhaler on the shelf. I decided I'd rather die then go back to Jr. High.