A Nailbiting Tale Of Drugs, Death and Writer's Block

So here we are, six minutes until Tuesday and I haven't typed a word. Good for me. Way to procrastinate. I read this article the other day about ways to combat writer's block and one of the suggestions was to write about what you know. I think that I might subject you to a post about the best ways to procrastinate, but let's be honest, I'll never get to it.

I'm recovering nicely from my bout of death by sinus thingy. I wasn't doing so well a few days ago though. My illness had made its way into my chest and I was coughy and weezy. (I find that adding y to the end of words that don't end in y adds a much needed excitement to the life of a stay-at-home-mom.) At one point as I was standing in my bathroom struggling to breathe I strongly considered quitting smoking and then I remembered I don't smoke and pondered why God had smote me with this evil plague since I had always been so good to my lungs. I longed for an inhaler.

Then I remembered. I own an inhaler. It's sitting on my medicine shelf. Now before I continue telling this riveting story about how I died, let's take a small detour into an even more boring story.

I cleaned my bathroom shelf, including my medicines. I found that I had in my possession a great many expired medications. For example, this bottle of Tylenol Arthritis that expired, well I'll let the picture tell you when.

I find it increases street value if you let pills age. Another six months and I should be able to pull 3 cents per pill on the mean streets.

So back to the inhaler. I'm not sure, but I feel pretty confident that the medicine in the inhaler has expired. I'm not sure when because I can't be bothered to check such things. Another interesting note on the inhaler, it's not mine. It's a hand me down. Seriously. Someone handed their inhaler (medicine included) down to me awhile back while I was suffering from death by allergies.

As I stood in my bathroom I considered what the effects of using an expired inhaler might be. If things went bad how would I explain to an ER Doctor that I had used someone's expired medication? I could try the Bill Clinton argument that I hadn't inhaled, but I'd no doubt be subjected to a lecture that is usually reserved for Jr. High kids about how using someone elses medications is very dangerous and I'm lucky not to be dead anyway.

And now the conclusion of this nailbiter.

I left the inhaler on the shelf. I decided I'd rather die then go back to Jr. High.


Maggi said...

First of all, I am sorry you're so sick!

And I can so totally relate. I have an entire shelf dedicated to expired meds (even some dog ones!) Maybe we should go into business together! lol

Feel better!

just call me jo said...

OK, I'm all for expired perscriptions and using medication that is not my own (even pet meds), but the inhaler sounds a little tooooo scary. Throw it AWAY. Clear down in the bottom of the dumpster on garbage day. Do it NOW. Do not look back. Walk away from the inhaler. BAD medicine for sure...

Yankee Girl said...

Definitely get rid of the inhaler! It sounds like seriously bad news.

Feel better soon!

Grilled Cheese said...

Ugh, sounds like you've got a serious case of the Funk.

Inhaler medicine expires? Hmm.. good to know.

I have one because I have exercise induced asthma (or maybe I'm just that out of shape and lazy) and would probably have used it 10 years from now on a whim.

Thanks for letting me know so I don't take to huffing.

Feel better!

The Boob Nazi said...

You should've googled that and seen what exciting slash scary things popped up.

Amanda said...

Leave it to you to make a mundane story into a tale of danger and intrigue! Are you feeling better?

My hubby has a genetic trait passed frm his mother (apparently) to keep bottle upon bottle of RX in the cabinet until they are several years old. Like he used this antibiotic for "pneumonia" (aka a cold) that was a year expired and couldn't understand why he was still sick.

laurel said...

I heard about your blog from Dione/Maria. Saw her this weekend, in person, and we talked about how we love your blog. If I ere a blog critic, I would give you two thumbs up!

coach said...

I think my wife should go to rehab....all these medications she is currently taking. Awful isn't it.

Sarah and the Gentlemen said...

I'm so glad that you're still alive!
Just checking in real quick from the Dominican.

Cyndi @ 6 Ring Circus said...

Awesome post. And just so you know, I've used VERY old inhalers before and lived to tell the tale. Even Primatine inhalers that have been known to KILL people and I'm still kicking. Not that you should do the same, just sayin'... :o)

Rachel@just another day in paradise said...

you do live dangerously. hope you're feeling better. how goes the packing?