Hey Dirty Ridges, This Blog Is About A Penis

Over the fourth of July weekend, Tony's friend, Dirty Ridges, informed me that my blog bores him. Except for the post about Farts and Penis'. Such a boy.

It's been a busy day of painting and I was racking my brain for something remotely interesting to blog about. Being honest, I had a few little ideas. All of which, would involve thought, work and massive proof-reading. Instead you get this. A conversation between myself and Punk. It's about a penis. Dirty Ridges eat your heart out.


Missy: hey do you think you could field a question about little boy penis' (Coach's sleeping)

Punk: I could try?

Missy: well just one penis actually

Punk: omg I nearly spit a MOUTHFUL of water at my laptop

Missy: Braden's is all red and he keeps grabbing at it. He says it hurts but he's not crying about it. Any thoughts? (if anyone has any thoughts on this I'd be happy to hear them. No, I will not post a picture of my son's reddened penis on the internet.)
I have to go wipe a butt now.

Punk: um... I would say, no I don't know for sure, but if he were my kid, I would clean it really well, maybe some vitamin E oil or powder, and then watch it for a day or two... so far, the symptoms don't sound all that alarming

Missy: It was like this last night and it looks every bit as red (if not more) than it was then. But he didn't complain until I put a pull-up on it. So now he's in bed with no pull-up or underpants. (I'm looking for an excuse to wash sheets apparently.)
I'm pretty sure I don't have vitamin E...Just powder I guess.

Punk: for Braden... try some cranberry juice? then ask Coach 'cause my lack of penis is starting to feel significant here

Missy: Coach's kind unsure about this as well. He looked at the "little man" last night and didn't have a clue.

Punk: this is the funniest conversation

Missy: Me too. I've been feeling that way a lot lately. First the bath-touching, then the peeing on the tree, now this.

Punk: honestly, don't you think we -- as mothers of boys -- know as much or more about the male organ as the men themselves, sometimes?

Missy: Maybe you do, you have years more experience on this. I'm a novice. I need like Penis 101 or something.

Punk: penis 101 *snickering*

Missy: yes that's what I said.

Punk: *can't think past the snickering*

Missy: Trojans

5 comments:

Mr. Punk said...

As a proud owner, and co-creator of 2 others... my first thought is "poison ivy".

Tana's Nana said...

No thoughts on the subject whatsoever- - at least you're not getting the boob and constipation questions that I get around here.

Punk said...

Penis - singular

Penises - plural

... sorry, that apostrophe was driving me crazy, and we all know how twitchy I get about punctuation.

How's Braden's "little man" this morning? Any better?

And Tana's Nana, I almost hate to ask, and yet can't refrain: why are you fielding boob & poop questions?

Missy said...

I called the pediactriction this morning and she suspects yeast infection, otherwise known as Jock Itch. My little superstar.

Mr. Punk, I'm not even going to ask how you think my boy got poison ivy in his pants...

Boobs and constipation. Wow.

Dione said...

So, this reminds me, I have a son that has a birthmark covering one butt cheek which causes it to be red and slightly larger than the other. It's so dang cute! But the other boys in Jr. High might not think so. Luckily he has a few more years till he has to deal with that.

Sorry about your son's penis. I sure hope it's cleared up before he starts Jr. High!