Sign This Petition, It's For A Really Good Cause. My Self-Esteem

Earlier today I was thinking about all the weddings I've been in. If you include my own, the total count is eight. I have been bride, maid of honor, bridesmaid, Jr. bridesmaid and wedding singer. Each wedding came with a new and exciting adventure that I like to call a dress, often with shoes dyed to match. Oh the hotness.

The words hideous, embarrassing and ugly are synonymous with bridesmaids dresses, but I've been pretty fortunate so far. Most of the dresses I've been asked to wear are pretty standard. Nothing super cool or trendy. I'm waiting for CeCe's wedding for that. She has awesome taste. (See how I'm kissing up now to make up for posting her middle of the night, make-up-less picture?)

Anyway, I was reminiscing about my worst bridesmaid dress. I'll be honest, it was a doozy. God awful. Horrifying. Worthy of the burn barrel. Sadly, this is the most info I can give you about it since I'd hate to upset the bride who most likely thought it was amazing. As a side note, if you are reading this and I was in your wedding, I'm totally not talking about the dress you made me wear. I loved that dress. It was awesome. I still put it on once in awhile with its matching shoes and sing, "I feel pretty, oh, so pretty" just to lift my spirits.

I had all but forgotten about the dresses when I opened a link that Punk sent me tonight, but the images all came flooding back as soon as I saw Fergie's pants. I don't know what those pants are about. They wouldn't flatter Heidi Klum. (As yet another side note I've decided to petition God for a new body. I thought I might ask for Heidi's. Much taller, blonder and well just better. I hope you'll all sign the petition on my behalf. You are after all my friends, right? I digress.)

Fergie's pants aside, the video is pretty cool and worth watching. I would like to point out though, what the heck happened to Oprah's voice? She puts on some weight and all of a sudden she's got the big black woman voice? Does that really come with extra pounds? And if so, why don't I have it? That would be awesome. I could get into, like, a Tyler Perry movie. Now I'm just rambling....ahem...the video. Feel free to put on your favorite bridesmaid dress and dance along. Eat your heart out, Ellen DeGeneres.


Anonymous said...

i vote we teach a dance to all of ralph wilson so when the bills score a td we bust into it.


- Tony Montana

Punk said...

Oh my gosh, Godfather, that would get me to Buffalo so fast! Count on it!

coach said...

I remember the dress and it was absolutely hideous but i can't comment. I almost had to break up with her at the time j/k!

Anonymous said...

For the record I do have awesome taste.
Looking forward to the game on Monday (guess whose totally excellent supervisor switched late days with her?) Thats right, mine. I am psyched! Ive been going over the flash cards and have considered making some new ones...its a shame I couldnt apply myself in this way for Insurance Education courses. Alas, I only enjoy useless trivia. - CeCe