Who Do You Think Would Win In An Arm Wrestling Match, Buckwheat or A Vampire? I Thought So.

During last year's football season, I got a great deal of enjoyment out of reading blogs written about the Bills games. You might be surprised to find out that there are a plethera of people that put a great deal of time and energy into researching and putting together a well thought out pre-game analysis of the Bills and their weekly opponent.

Since I have my own blog this year, I thought, "I could totally do that." But since we've already established that I'm a lazy non-thinker, I think it's obvious that I won't be writing a well thought out analysis about anything anytime soon. If you are interested in reading that kind of post, you can click here. If you are interested in a slightly more indepth analysis (albiet not any better researched) post, click here. To read a blurb about the film In America and sign-up for Netflix, click here.
As for me, I don't think we need to overanalyze this game. I know some people are worried that my precious Bills will choke because they replaced their offensive coordinater a week before Monday Night Football and the Coach of the other team is this guy.

Or that my team is going through Left Tackles faster than Elizabeth Taylor went through husbands. (For a refresher on the left tackle situation revisit my explanation here.)
Or because our super-hot QB didn't score a single touchdown during the preseason. (For those of you who don't follow football, touchdowns are an essential part of the game if you want to win.)
Or because the Patriots have defeated the Bills with relative ease in eleven straight games.
But I'm not worried. Not even a little. In honor of Trent Edwards being number 5, I'll give you five reasons why I know the Bills will come out of this meeting with a win. Then you too will see the light.
1. Because our Wide Reciever is a sparkly vampire and theirs looks like Buckwheat.

2. Because our Quarterback studies film, works out and creates a gameplan for success which includes growing his hair out in the offseason, and their Quarterback apparently herds goats.
    3. Because the last time I checked, not a single one of the Patriots defensive players had a mustache named Pepe.
    4. Because even though our offense has never played a single regular season game together, and the Patriots offense has won four Superbowls together, we have Gibran Hamdan.
    5. Because I like the Bills better and that makes them winners.
    Kick-off is at 7 on ESPN. No one will be singing this song tomorrow. I hope.


The Boob Nazi said...

Go Niners?

coach said...

The only good thing the Niners have is Singletary. My Bills tomorrow will come out and spread the football all over the field and beat those bums they call the Patriots. Even my three year old son knows to hate the Pats, Dolphins and Jets. To this I say the Bills rule and everyone else sucks! If you have a problem with that i have four words for ya GET OVER IT SUCKA!


Missy said...

@ boob nazi, I love the conviction.

Punk said...

Missy, Coach might need some chamomile. Or Valium. Whichever you have on hand.

*there there, Coach* It'll be okay. Just breathe.

coach said...

Punk you wouldn't understand! It's two different worlds. You like Japenese Anime. I love football. If your favorite Anime character died maybe you would understand but i doubt it. I go back to watching a kick go wide right when I was in 5th grade. I was so sad or mad that day that I couldn't go to school the next day even though I owed a few dollars to acquaintances of mine. I love football but it kills me.

Also the valium comment hurts especially coming from a woman who like every woman has a few days every month where they act like maniacs. Of course this excludes my wife!

East Sidddddddddddde!

Mr. Punk said...

Oh snap! Anime vs. Football; Two different worlds indeed. In a lot of "Japanese Anime", the favorite characters die all the time... so I don't think that's the best comaprison.

I'm not hatin' though. To each his own. You go back to your money-losing/day of-school-losing-kick-go-wide-right. I go back to my depression after not being able to get into a sold-out Ninja Turtles. We all die a little for our obsessions... *sobs. It all evens out.

I have no comment on the valium comment.

Turtle Powwwwwwer!

Punk said...

Apologies to the Coach. I'd meant no offense, just exaggeration.

Grand Pooba said...

Um...I feel weird commenting after the coach and punk just went at it...I'll take boob nazi's side.

go Niners?

Rachel@just another day in paradise said...

I love football, but for some reason, I don't follow the pros. (The Hogs take a lot of worry and energy from me to do as well as they do. Anyway, that's my story and I'm sticking to it!) I have a 7th grade nephew and 3rd grade son that will be taking a LOT of my focus this year. Let's hope the Hogs don't need too much from me. . . : )