Ah, Buffalo Bills football today. I don't even know where to start. I'm going to sum it up for you. We suck. We suck oh so bad. OH. SO. BAD.  With only three minutes left in the game my boy Trent got benched for the ugly backup (you remember him). Why? Well, there are a few different opinions on this. I know you are interested, so let's gloss over them.

  1. Trent is a delicate flower that might get hurt, and we don't want him to get hurt in a game in which there is no longer a chance for us to win;
  2. Trent threw an interception and our coach actually believed that the ugly back-up could make up the 17 point deficit in less than five minutes (He didn't);
  3. Our team is so dysfunctional that our coach has given up figuring out how to win and is just putting whoever is standing closest to him on the field and praying;
  4. The coach felt bad that I had watched suffered through this game and pulled Trent from the game so that he could stand on the sidelines with his hair blowing in the breeze.;
I would have thought that reason number 4 was the right one, but Trent just stood on the sidelines looking all angry with his helmet ON. Of course after I watched his press conference my suspicions about Trent's hair were confirmed. It's too long. He needs a hair cut. I noticed this about a few other players this past week too. They all need haircuts. How come they had five days off and none of them bothered to stop by a salon? I am disgusted. If I was the coach of this team, I'd cut everyone's hair.

At this point in the football season every fan believes that they can coach better then the real coach, play better then the real players. Everyone believes they are smarter then the people running the team they root for. The truth here is that the Bills are a mess, and while others think they have the answers, I know that there is only one thing that can save this team now.


Just look at him from today's press conference. Hair all grown over his ears and neck. Are those his eyebrows or his bangs? Are boys allowed to have bangs? Don't even get me started on the goatee. (Really Trent? Is this your freshman year in college?)

So I've decided to start a petition to get the players on the Bills to get respectable haircuts (or at least trim up around the ears). Maybe we should stipulate NO GOATEES as well. Have some pride, boys.

Here is where you come in. You can join in the petition in the comments section. Make grooming suggestions. We can fix this team together. I might even send this petition on to the actual coach of the Bills. I'm pretty sure he's desperate enough to try it. We can't let this continue.


Dione said...

I would suggest that Trent's outward appearance is a reflection of his inward state.

Also, if you are going to sport a boy haircut than you can't have man growth on your chin and upper lip!

My signature for your petition:
Dione Seegrist

Punk said...

Dear Bills,

As your state of play gives you little in which to take pride, each of you must, therefore, take pride in his grooming and appearance. Do your fans proud and stimulate the local economy by venturing to a stylist of your choice in the Buffalo, NY area.

Yours truly,
The Punk

Rachel@just another day in paradise said...

haircuts. yep, definitely haircuts. that'll do it. maybe they need a team barber. . .