Does This Closet Make Me Look Desperate (for an iPhone)?

You might have noticed that things are looking different around here. Yes, we are going through some changes. Just like in puberty some of these changes are unfamiliar to me. This is why when you click some links, they don't work. I'm working and learning. Please feel free to let me know what doesn't work. I probably already know but don't know how to fix it yet. I'm (and by I, I mean Bryan) working on it. Thanks for your patience. Or impatience. Either way, thanks for stopping by. I'm desperate for your love.

On to our regularly scheduled post...

O.K. Seriously. I'm holed up in a closet in the back of Jessica's house to type. It is my only sanctuary from the pitter patter of the seven elephants that I'm sure the downstairs neighbors are convinced are currently housing here. I can still hear them running to and fro despite my iPod. Maybe I should turn it up. I find the louder the iPod, the more effective it is in drowning out children and helping me to shirk responsibility. I feel certain that when DSS shows up at my house for neglect, I'll be able to pass the buck to Apple for making products that so effectively enable you to ignore others. If you think that's a joke, then you've never gone to dinner with someone that owns an iPhone.

Speaking of the iPhone*, I really need one. I'd even settle for the iPod Touch. I should be able to tweet updates in real time instead of waiting until I get to my computer. I mean, imagine how it would enhance your life to get tweets from me like,

"I'm at the mall. Old Navy is having a killer sale."

"Just finished peeing, and I feel great."

"Anthony says, 'Dear God, may you please send me candy."

Things like this should be tweeted immediately. Why should you have to wait until I get access to a computer? We are all suffering because I don't own an iPhone.

I also feel that the iPhone would be good for my spiritual well-being. At church on Sunday, Jessica's pastor was talking about prayer and how when he runs into someone on the street and they ask him to pray for them he can add their name to his "prayer list" on his Blackberry right then. No prayer request left behind. Now clearly a Blackberry is not the right choice for me (we've covered this already), but I do feel a strong conviction that I should have an iPhone. It will be good for my soul.

Knowing that not owning an iPhone is clearly hazardous to my health and well-being, I'm sure you are wondering why I haven't purchased one yet. Money. I would ask my nephew to spot me the cash but I try not to do business with, um, nevermind. Our income tax return will be coming in the next few months, and I felt certain I would get one then, but Matt informed me on the phone the other day that he feels we should get a new TV for our birthdays (using  the income tax return). When I suggested that we discuss it more when I returned home from Georgia, he told me that he had already talked it over with himself and we are getting a new TV for our birthdays.

TV's are nice. They aren't iPhone nice, but I'm sure I could learn to love it.

But you know, if Apple should get wind of this post and think, "Hey, it would be great publicity to give a free iPhone to a blogger with 31 followers (aka ME)," then I wouldn't complain. I might even tweet about it.

*It is to be assumed that when you read the word iPhone in this post, it also stands for iPod Touch as both devices would be considered acceptable gifts.