Shaken, Not Stirred

In keeping with the randomness you are accustomed to getting when you come here, I'm going to change gears. I'm not going to do it slowly either. I'm going to shake this blog and then pour it into the glass and then and only then will you know what you're getting.

And now an excerpt from what can only be described as a great literary work.
Splash! Splash! Splash! The waves of the lake went splash. The men in the boat were working to reach land. The boat was rocking. Water was spilling in. Splash! Were the men going to die?
You might be wondering where I found this gem. Was it Dickens? Perhaps Clive Cussler? No, this excerpt is from Mallory's reading book. Imagine my delight when we sat down to read the other day and this was the opening paragraph that they had chosen for my five year old's reader.

OK, fine, you found me out, I have Mallory reading The Perfect Storm. The kid has to learn that thems the breaks. We all die. Some of us do it at sea. Suck it up, kid. It's not like your four anymore.

In addition to introducing my children to literature whose focal point is painful drowning at the hand of a terrifying storm and how that leaves families without fathers, I've begun to teach them about fine art. Today we did a Georgia O'Keefe style painting. We are so refined.

You know, when I was a kid we whittled soap and called it art. Those soap shavings burned the nose something fierce. But we didn't have no fancy painting lessons. (That's a lie. We did. I may have mentioned before that I cried during them.)

While I'm coming clean, I have to admit that I didn't actually teach my 3 and 5 year olds about Georgia O'Keefe as much as follow Pink and Green Mama's tutorial on how to create this painting.


Teacher's O'Keefe Art Project 1/10
Are you impressed that my kids could do such an amazing job with this art project?

Don't be. This one is the one I did to show them how to make theirs.

I did not cry.


Mallory's O'Keefe Art Project 1/10
This one is Mallory's. She's highly competitive and even though she did a great job, she was disappointed because she felt mine was prettier. Dude, I'm 24 years older then you. Mine should be better. (Yes, I did just call my daughter dude. What's it to you?)

Anthony's O'Keefe Art Project 1/10

Finally, here is Anthony's painting. Not bad for three. You can almost tell it's a flower if you tilt your head...

a little more...

maybe try tilting your head the other way.

Matt didn't have a painting. We haven't let Matt play with the paints since the time I caught him painting the cat with watercolors.

15 comments:

Eva Gallant said...

Wow--five seems kind of youg to be worrying about drowning at sea and families without fathers!

Just stopped by from SITS to say hi; hope you'll do the same.

Ginny Marie said...

OH, those are cute! I'll have to try it with my 5-year-old! I'm not sure how my toddler would do with that project, though. I love your profile--I'm always looking for ways to waste time and gain weight! :)

Sarah and the Gentlemen said...

OOoo. Good job on painting your flower.

Some day I should break out the paints again.

Well? Did the men die in the water? Are you just going to leave us hanging?

Bethany said...

It turned out to be the story when Peter walked on the water toward Jesus. So I'm sorry to disappoint you but no one was killed off during the telling of the story.

just call me jo said...

Maybe Anthony's piece was not a flower at all. Perhaps he broke out of the model and created a colorful amoebe.

The Boob Nazi said...

Mine would look like Anthony's, and I'm 24 years old. I'm a failure.

Dione said...

I cried when I studied Anthony's painting!

Maggi said...

Do you ever watch PBS Sprout? If you notice the "Teach Your Baby to Read" commercials, they show these 2-5 year olds reading "A Christmas Carol", the Wilbur almost getting killed part in "Charlotte's Web" and something about all the men that died in the Civil War. What the what? I think I'll keep my baby stupid and illiterate thank you very much.

Those paintings are awesome BTW.

Ms Bibi said...

They did fantastic job, way to go. My younger one is artsy, but the older one not even close.

Lol, soap shavings bring back memories....

The Godfather said...

Dude Anthony Did some serious Abstract work! I need a copy of that in a frame. Wouldn't dare ask for the original.

foxy said...

Hey they gotta learn about death some time. If five is the time, then so be it. We should all trust your very wise judgment.

And VERY nice art. Anthony's especially... looks as good as anything else that's passing for art these days!!

Bethany said...

You are free to make a COPY of it, but you have to frame it yourself. (how's that for lazy?)

TOWR said...

You should try reading them "The Wishing Star." It's about a grandpa who's dying and tells his grandkids he's up in the stars watching over them. At least, I think that's what it's about. After barely choking through it once with my nieces I refused to ever read it again.

coach said...

Yeah my kids have some talent....Only problem is none of it came from me lol. Hey one day when they ask Antonio a question about sports and he answers them well that came from me.

Hey I just beat Mario on Wii tonight in front of my chillins so they learned something else from me. I am getting more and more talented as we speak!

Grilled Cheese said...

If I tried to do this right now, mine would still look like Anthony's. Mallory's is way better than anything I can do, and as far as I'm concerned, yours should be in the Louvre.

I'll hang out with Matt. I think he's more my level.