Six Degrees Of Nick Jonas

Tonight, while driving in the car with Mallory, a song by Disney starlet Selena Gomez came on the radio. Even though I couldn't see Mallory since she was nestled safely in the backseat, her reaction to hearing a Disney song on the radio leads me to believe that she might have peed herself and she hasn't done that in years.

I realize that not all of you have kids or are familiar with the Disney family of Starlets. I imagine that for some of you the last time you watched the Disney Channel, Haley Mills was swapping places with herself in an attempt to reconcile her parents. Or maybe Alanis Morrissette was getting slimed on "You Can't Do That On Television" (Yes, I realize that this show is from Nickelodeon but I wanted to use a picture of people getting green slime dumped on them.)

 

But boys and girls, the times they have changed.   The new class of Disney stars are mature, classy and demure. Case in point, Miley Cyrus aka Hannah Montana (perhaps you've seen some of that merchandise around.)


She's really such a pretty girl. She kind of makes me think of those little girls they dress up for pageants. Speaking of which, have you guys seen that Pageant Moms show? They give those little girls fake teeth and spray tans and then they limit them to only one can of aqua net per 5 year old. How is a little girl supposed to get her hair to stay put with only one can? Clearly Miley is using at least three cans in this picture.

O.K. so back when we were kids, we had no idea the backstage drama that went on. It was only years later that we learned the Brittany and Justin were more then just fellow Mousekateers. Alanis and Dave Coulier? Who knew? (Who wanted to?) Current day Disney starlets let it all hang out. For example, the lovely Miss Cyrus has been linked to the sweet and diabetes stricken, Nick Jonas.

 
Don't let that sweet face fool you. He's a mastermind with the ladies. The guitar should have tipped you off. Musicians can't be trusted. Lock up your daughters and warn your friends, this boy has had more girlfriends then those MBP boys. Besides Miley, Nick has also been linked to the aforementioned Disney Starlet, Selena Gomez.
 
Yes, she is named for the up and coming singer, Selena, that was stabbed to death by the president of her fan club. I can't think of a better namesake for a child that you plan to put on T.V.

Now in case that wasn't juicy enough for you, it would seem that our girl Selena has also been linked to Taylor Lautner... 

THE TWILIGHT SAGA: NEW MOON

...and he was linked to Taylor Swift. Admit it, this is better than Rock of Love.

Now just in case you thought that I only notice this kind of information and that kids probably don't, they notice. Sadly, I think that Mallory could have filled you in on all of this too, but I type faster and shockingly enough, spell better, so I did it.

So I've filled you all in on the love lives of the under eighteen crowd so that I could blog about what Mallory told me to tell you.

Now back to the car ride, the Selena song, the not-so-wet pants. As soon as Mallory heard the song she started talking. And talking. And talking. 

Mallory: Mom, where does Selena live?

Me: California, I think.

Mallory: Is that far?

Me: Yes, farther than Georgia even. (We also measure time in television shows.)

Mallory: (sounding pretty worried now) How am I going to meet her and be her friend? Will she be dead before I am grown? 

Me: Um, I don't know if you'll ever meet her and she's pretty young, Mallory. I'm pretty sure she'll still be around when you are grown. 

Mallory: You know what you could write in your blooooog?

(Yes, I'm taking tips from a five year old.)

Me: (eager for a fresh idea as my life is so boring that I've taken to writing about the Disney dating pool.) What's that?

Mallory: You could tell everyone that I looooove Selena Gomez.

As tempted as I was to simply type: "Mallory loooooves Selena Gomez" and hit post I felt that you deserved to be subjected gifted with further explanation and also that picture of Miley doing her best Gene Simmons impression. 

Maybe I should have stuck with the one liner.

18 comments:

TOWR said...

My sister and I were just talking about You Can't Do That on Television a couple of days ago! I loved that show--that and Double Dare.

I don't like looking at pictures of Taylor Lautner because it makes me feel like a dirty old woman.

Shell said...

My 5 year old looooves Selena Gomez. Though, he just calls her "Alex."

I'll admit that I don't mind watching Wizards with him- alot better than some of the cartoons that he watches!

Sarah and the Gentlemen said...

Is it bad that I can sing along with Selena's song?

When Josiah was a youngun', I would often tell him things like, "In one Sesame Street we are going to go to Grandma and Grandpa's." Television time works.

The Godfather said...

selena and wizards of waverly is solid but i prefer ICarly. I hope Mal does too.

Marilyn (A Lot of Loves) said...

We haven't hit the I Looooooooove Selena Gomez stage yet (Thankfully) so I didn't know all that juicy teen gossip. I guess I'll know it soon enough - whether I want to or not!

Grand Pooba said...

Wow, now I know way too much information than any one over the age of 18 should know.

However, I did recieve the message of this post.

Mallory loves Selena Gomez.

Ginny Marie said...

When Hayley Mills was swapping places with her twin, there wasn't even a Disney Channel! I saw that movie on a projector at our school in third grade. Yes, I am that old! :(

Unfortunately, my 15-year old niece introduced my 5-year old daughter to Hannah Montana. Fortunately, she still prefers the Disney princesses!

Thanks for visiting my blog this morning!

London said...

Wow, thanks for clearing all of that up. Now I feel ancient!

Cristina said...

Sigh...I know all of these girls all too well. My 12 year old got my 5 yearold into iCarly - and I hate to say it but that Lautner kid has a sick body for a kid.

Cuff me now.

xx

Cristina

coach said...

Mallory is talking to me right now and we both determined that Selena Gomez is awesome but I think I like Icarly better. Spongebob is the man though!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dione said...

Liesl looooooves Rolf!

McKenna wanted me to tell you that.

Spot On Your Pants said...

First of all. I was the last person on EARTH to realize that Miley Sirus and Hannah Montana were the SAME person! Seriously, who does that? Now, I just have a temporary tattoo of her head on my right arm (it was in the exam room at the doctor, so we pilfered it)! Green slime...forgot about that show...classic! Probably now all the contestants have some reproductive disorder linked to some carcinogen in the slime (just saying that because I really wanted to be on the show and my parents were lame). So...good to know! Thanks!

Mhel said...

thanks for dropping by at my blog... Amusing remarks and linkage from teeny boppy stars. I wonder who's on top and who's on bottom of the food chain??

Amanda in GA said...

Stopping over from SITS to say hello. LOVE your blog I will be back often

Maggi said...

I am so glad Toot is too young to be into these people. lol Yikes.

The Boob Nazi said...

I already knew all this information. I hate my life.

foxy said...

I actually visited Selena's namesake's grave this past weekend in Corpus Christi. Such a sad story. And I'll be damned if that role didn't make J-Lo. Without it, she woulda just been "hey ho".

Amanda said...

I find it sad that Selena is young enough that she was named after the other Selena. Wasn't that just last year? (seems like it). I'm old or she's young, one of the two.

I, for one, never realized how much drama there was with the tweenyboppers these days, but color me fascinated.