I've Been Reading

As she sat down to gather her thoughts she fought of the urge to wax philosophical or be overly melodramatic.  It was something she often found herself doing in this situation. Now her head was spinning and she wasn't sure how she had gotten here. She muddled back through her memory over the events of the day. Listening to a child talk as the furnace growled loudly in the background. What time had that been? 6:30. Maybe 6:45. So long ago.

How she had managed to pull herself from her bed that hadn't even had enough time to become warm from her body, she did not know. Why had she done this to herself? She knew full well what the consequences of last night's actions would be, yet she had done them anyway. Why? She was feeling particularly foolish now.

Well if she was to survive the onslaught that was coming she was would need a plan of action. Quickly she jotted down a plan that she felt would help her succeed. No detail was left out of the strategy. She knew in her state it was possible to forget even the simplest of tasks, such as changing out of one's pajamas.

As the day wore on she felt it more and more. The effects were undeniable. She had to really focus on simple tasks such as breathing and blinking. Her children would not suffer at her hand. She refused to let her own shortcomings ruin them too. She turned on the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Smash-Up and let them play video games as she stumbled through her house trying to remember if she had in fact transferred that load of whites to the dryer. Then dinner and baths and bedtimes and it was all a blur and before she new it she was sitting at the computer. The unforgiving glow of the white screen mocking her. Daring her to think of something ingenious to fill it. She closed her eyes for just a second allowing the regret of the night before rush over her. The caffeine infused Mountain Dew at midnight the night before. Sitting on the cold floor of her bathroom, shivering while she finished the young adult novel that her allegedly loving sister had recommended. Her sister had read this book before and new of its addictive qualities. Shouldn't she have not shared it?

As full of regret as she is at having spent the last 48 hours consuming 600 pages of literary crack, she can't help but begin to look lustfully at the book sitting next to her. Should she just pick it up and finish those last 150 pages in spite of the late hour? She should go to bed now that the menacing white page of the computer is full, but the feverish delusions that often accompany sleep deprivation whisper to her, just one more chapter.

13 comments:

The Boob Nazi said...

I miss reading. I've read a little since I only have 1 class now, but I haven't read enough!

Punk said...

I nagged you! I told you 11:30, 12:30, 1:30 GO TO BED. I told you that you were at a good point in the story to stop. But did you listen? No! It is your own fault. Be a grownup and suck it up.

... And I'm glad you're enjoying The Hunger Games and Catching Fire as much as I did. We need to discuss them in great detail when you're coherent once more and no longer speaking in the 3rd person.

tbsomeday said...

lol--perhaps you should write your own books?
pretty good missy!
i just started reading fiction again myself after many years of nutrition, gardening and other such books
i SAVOR the time i read each night...and sometimes stay up way too late :)
you'll have to give us your review when you're all done

Cori said...

When else are you supposed to read? Between work, babies and men (well, man, just the one, but he's a handful) I haven't had time to read more than three pages of a Terry Pratchett book I bought right before Claire was born. Six weeks ago. I do sometimes try to stay up late reading sometimes, but I always try do this in bed, and then I wake up and there's drool everywhere. Seriously, it's terrible, sometimes Noah is there trying to save all the animals.

Sarah and the Gentlemen said...

Too funny! I have done the same thing but not wrote about the ordeal so artfully as you have just done. Bravo!

My summary: I stayed up ALL night long reading and reading as if I would somehow miss something if I put the book down. Must. read. more. Lots of coffee helps to get you through the next sleep-deprived day. Thank you, God, for creating the coffee bean plants.

just call me jo said...

I love, love, love reading good books. Wish I could find one that pulled me away from the world like that right now. You said it, lady.

Yankee Girl said...

I always stay up late reading and then am completely useless the next day. It's vicious cycle but I can't stop it. And i don't think I want to!

Dione said...

I can see where Bella gets it! That was fantastic. I was sucked in and didn't realize it was your own story till you got to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles! ha ha

When I'm done sewing I will have to check out those books!

coach said...

I love you but stop whining and go to bed. Only one person in this house deserves a regular nap and that's me!

Anti-Supermom said...

I have a love/hate relationship with a good book. A girl needs her sleep.

Well written post and what 'Coach' wrote makes me laugh ;)

Amanda said...

*gasp* Are you a Twilight crack head?

This is how it starts, next thing you know you'll be hanging up pictures of barely legal young boys and talking to your grown-up girlfriends about how sexy they are and wishing your husband could be ANYWHERE as romantic.

This is your intervention.

Grand Pooba said...

Yay, it looks like you're enjoying the book as much as I did!

(But seriously, go to bed, nobody wants an onery Beth in the morning!)

Grilled Cheese said...

I want to know about the YA fiction.