And You Thought I Spent All Day Googling Trent Edwards

I awoke this morning and checked the CNN news ticker (as I always do) and discovered that Baby Kermit had wandered into a bad neighborhood while running from Miss Piggy. (Who blames him really? She's such a pig.)

In addition to the many things I do to contribute to society like homeschool and google Trent Edwards, I am also an ambassador (and sometime super-hero) to helpless and lost toys. So naturally when I saw that Baby Kermit was in peril I knew what I had to do. I jumped out of my bed and into my spandex unitard that I just got back from the cleaners after all that rigorous watching of the Olympics and made a dash for my scooter.

But I never got to my scooter. Instead I was taken out by an evil plot concocted by those villainous action "heroes" pictured above. Turns out they had peeled back a corner of a tile on the floor and it effectively cut a gash in the pad of my foot (right behind my toes) and yes, there was blood. I almost died.

But I didn't.

Then what I can only assume is the work of an evil master mind like Kraing  (Shredder's boss) I was over come with an all day nausea that left me reeling. Never one to give up I pressed on and at some point developed a wicked neck ache. I'm not sure what caused this but I can only assume that it was probably when I was fighting off the foot clan. You know how they like to surround you and I had to do some serious Kung Fu.

To sum up, even though I survived this day I am currently sidelined with a cut up foot, a sore neck and nausea that makes you wish you were puking. In spite of all this it would appear that I fared better then Baby Kermit as he is still lost out there somewhere...in the dark...I hope he can make it to morning.

Godspeed, Baby Kermit, Godspeed.

10 comments:

Ms Bibi said...

Well, you did your best.Those villainous action heroes are a tough bunch.Sorry about your injuries and I hope baby Kermit is safe.

Grilled Cheese said...

Oh man, who hasn't done that?

I stepped on one of my brother's giant aluminum airplanes when I was little and that shit HURT.

I hope Kermit finds his way home.

Mr. Punk said...

It's not easy being green. As long as Kermit remembers to take a left at the fork in the road he'll be fine.

How sad (read: awesome) is it that I can name 90% of the toys in that pile? There are some classics in there!

Heidi O said...

I hope you and Kermit fare better today!

Sarah and the Gentlemen said...

Well, did you try puking on the bad guys? Cause they hate that. You superhero name could be SupahPukah.

I think the villians around here just leave little Lego "traps" around to cause injury and mayhem. They are too afraid to show their faces.

tbsomeday said...

thank heavens you pulled through!
we are lucky to have brave souls like you out there, fighting for the lost toys

i hope you have a speedy recovery!

ps--maybe you are pregnant?
i have to say that anytime anyone is sick :)

Sara @ The Football Wife said...

Now I have the Muppet Babies theme song playing in my head... Thanks.

Amanda said...

This whole story is mega tragic but I think the baby kermit visual was most heartbreaking.

How much blood are we talking? Bc even a tiny blood makes me want to hurl.

Grand Pooba said...

Ooooouuuuuch!!!

I'll pray for Kermit.

foxy said...

GAH I hate it when superheros trip you up. Those a-holes!