Sandra Bullock Just Reminded Me, I Forgot To Thank You.

I taped pictures of Mallory's deceased great-grandparents in the front of her baby book. On the page with their picture I have written as much about them as I can think of. I did it so that when she is grown she can read it and then hopefully feel connected to them in some way.

My paternal grandfather died before Mallory was born. He died before I married Matthew. In so many ways, for me, he was dead before he died. I did not know him. I mean I had met him but only a handful of times and it was always one of those things where I couldn't wait until my Mom and Dad called me to get into the car.

But that's not why I didn't write anything about him in the book. I don't have any of my own memories about my great-grandparents, but I wrote down some of the memories my mom has shared with me. The thing is when it comes to my paternal grandfather there don't seem to be any fun stories. He was not a good man. He was not a good husband. He was not a good father. He was not.

In the movie The Breakfast Club Alley Sheedy's character says that we all become our parents. "It is inevitable," she declares. Think about it. You are so your mom (or your dad, whatever). So when a boy is raised in a hostile environment by a man that exemplifies everything you pray your daughter never ends up with, what chance does he have to become a good man?

It is my strong opinion that good men don't just happen. Sweat, tears and prayers are poured into boys and even after all of our hard work, it is by God's grace alone that they become good men. Which is the saving grace for boys like my father. God sees them. His compassion and love for them is overwhelming. And because my father was in God's heart before he even knew who God was, he was saved from "the inevitable."

In the same way that God sent my parents to help all my adoptive siblings, He sent people into my dad's life. Not foster or adoptive parents, but men that guided him and gave him a safe place to go when he needed to escape.

This is what I thought of tonight when Sandra Bullock gave her acceptance speech at the Oscars. I thought of the people that God sent into my father's life. People who were used by God to help my father become the great man he is.

I could go on about the importance of a good father when it comes to raising a little girl but they are telling me to wrap it up. So to my parents and all the people that intervened in their lives, thank you.

Thank you.


Punk said...

This comment is in lieu of tears, applause and hugs.

How astoundingly blessed is our family? Seriously.

(psst... you misspelled gibberish.)

JDaniel4's Mom said...

It is good to remember all the people that helped you and your parents become who they and you are.

Sarah and the Gentlemen said...

Well said. I too thank God for those who give of themselves to better others.

Recently, a woman at our church told my parents, "Thanks for being a mom and dad to me. No one has ever done that before." It made me tear up... you never know what some have been through.

Miss. Ardeth Blood said...

I think the last generation has raised a better batch of men, and it's come mostly from the fact they were raised by single moms/grandmothers.
The universe knows what it's doing, even when we are just blind cave fish.

Amanda said...


A family is a family no matter how it happens. I loved her speech. We're all responsible for each other, showing love and compassion. That's why God created us, that's what he wants from us (that's what I believe).

I had great parents. So did my husband. We're not all that lucky -- and that's where the love of friends makes all the difference.

You rock!

Rachel@just another day in paradise said...

and Bethany would like to thank the academy for her portrayal of a daughter in "right on the money." : )

You said it!

foxy said...

Excellent speech, ma'am. Excellent indeed!

tbsomeday said...

good post!
nice uplifting read for monday morning...a reminder to keep on growing

papajimmy said...

There are many people who helped me to fight the "demons," of growing up in a, shall we say, difficult, home. Teachers, coaches,etc. However the two people who most influenced me in my teens were Bob and Pat Roefer. Awesome folks who to this day I think of daily. Then I met my best girl, who loves me and taught me to love. God has richly blessed me.
This is fact, Jesus WILL lift you out of the miry clay. Success or failure is entirely up to you.