Lawn Pride Is So Thug Life

I mentioned last week or the week before...or maybe it was the Thursday after last Wednesday...that Matt and I have had a lot of visitors since we bought the new house. We were discussing with our Visitor de jour how the neighbors here mow their lawns pretty much every other day. To prove my point to her I mentioned that I had mowed like five days prior and our grass was noticeably longer than all of our surrounding neighbors. She took a quick look around and said, "Yeah, there seems to be a lot of lawn pride around here."

Lawn Pride was not a concept we encountered at the trailer park. At the old house I mowed the yard like every week to ten days and the result of this was that we had one of the better kept yards in the neighborhood. Our old next door neighbor used to let her grass grow so long that the park owners left her notices to cut it and also I might have spotted a wild boar on her property. I feel confident that wild boar will not be an issue here. Which, as you can imagine, is a huge relief to a mother of small children.

I pondered what it meant to be a part of a neighborhood bonded together by pride of grass. By purchasing this home we joined an elite society of people whose history is cemented in a belief of neat and tidy grass, sculpted bushes and massive amounts of cedar chips. I can't help but wonder: Does this make us part of a Gang or a Cult? The only way I can see this turning out to be a cult is if we are all keeping our lawns immaculate for the return of Christ. I'll have to look into it further to know for sure, but it seems like a long shot. With the cult option on the back burner for the time being, I'm going to go with gang on this. I have to be honest, I feel pretty good about the gang option. Think about it, gang life seems surprisingly less fatal when compared to cult life. It seems to me that as long as I mow my lawn every other day and keep my weed wacker in good working order, I'll be able to avoid having any "accidents" with hedge trimmers. It's small price to pay if you ask me. Also in my opinion gangs are way cooler than cults. We'll get to have a gang color (green obviously), a gang sign (green thumbs, holla) and I'll get to carry a weapon (hedge clippers can be very dangerous).

I might even get a prison tat out of the deal. Something classy like a beautiful landscape covering my entire back. No one will question how much pride I have in Lawn Pride then.


Rachel@just another day in paradise said...

once we lived in an older subdivision full of older, semi-retired people (old enough to not have kids, etc., at home but young enough to be active). One man would trim his sidewalk with scissors. Seriously. The first time I thought was a fluke, but we watched him do it every time. I can assure you there was no doubt who the trashy neighbors were. . .

just call me jo said...

In our neighborhood, it's the exclusive hoity toity who even HAS grass. Arizonans work through "gravel envy." Some guys even rake their gravel so it's all even and uniform. Our dog runs through ours and leaves paths. I love mowing lawns, but hate lawn snobs. You're doing fine. I mean, those wild boars are held at bay. (You make me laugh so much.) I guess with the right "grass in your lawn you could make quite the profit on the street. (Remember, I live in AZ where drug lords are king. oops! Sorry AZ.)

Sara said...

I'd start carving your tooth brush into a shank... just in case.

Although, I do love a beautiful lawn. I just want to frolic and roll around on a lush, green bed of grass.

You know, until the bugs are all up on me.

Dione said...

In Utah there are also fruit tree gangs, garden gangs and, of course grass and flower bed gangs.

I had to join the witness protection program and flee to New Mexico - where there is little to no grass.

There's a rumor here (not a joke) that Rio Rancho was where they sent ex-mafia members. Being from New York, you just might feel at home, here. Think about it, if the pressure gets to be too much.

Ry said...

I have been impressed with the condition of the lawn every time i come over.

My brother break the new Weed wacker yet though?