They Don't Cover Sex on the SAT's Anyway

I've been taking the saying, Lazy Days of Summer, quite literally lately. I've found that there are a lot of wonderful ways I can spend my time that don't serve any good or fruitful purpose. For example, the other day I googled PSAT tests. Why? So I could test how smart I am, of course. I realize that the PSAT is an aptitude test for 16 and 17 year olds trying to enter college and I'm 30 and well, not headed to college. It's just that I was curious how I would do and quite frankly I couldn't think of anything better to do with my time. For what it's worth, according to the PSAT questions I answered, my reading comprehension and writing skills are AWESOME. My math skills on the other hand, well, um, they were... less awesome.

Fortunately for my kids my math skills don't have to be SAT good to follow a recipe.


That's right, the kids and I totally made our own ice cream.

One of New York's many requirements for what I teach my six year old is Health. Since I was feeling kind of clueless as to what a six year old should be taught in health I did a search for 2nd grade Health Ed at an online homeschool bookstore. They suggested  "What's the Big Deal? Why God Cares About Sex." Did you just recoil at the idea of teaching a six year old about sex too? We are going to learn about eating nutritiously instead. I realize that good eating habits aren't as much fun as sex, but since I've decided not to let my kids know sex exists until they are capable of doing SAT caliber math, nutrition it is. I did a little more research and found "Kids Fun and Healthy Cookbook."

Now you may recall that I've attempted to cook with my kids once before. You may also recall that that recipe was barflicious. Because of this I was understandably cautious, but this book is wonderful. The recipes are easy and quick to make and as an added bonus, my kids have eaten every healthy recipe we've made from the book without crying or vomiting.

Actually the recipes are so good I've taken to making them without the kids. It can be a little difficult to get Mallory out of the kitchen. She likes to help. So I've taken to distracting them by letting them go outside barefoot and climb trees. The higher the better.

I wonder how well those branches will hold. Well let's just do the math and see: y = (x + 3)2, then (-2x - 6)2
 
Right, I'm too lazy to do that math. I'm sure she'll be fine. That's what ER's are for anyway.

8 comments:

Kathy English said...

Oh yikes. Seriously? Six year olds and learning about sex? NOT.

Though I do agree with your assessment about ERs.

Hope the ice cream was yummy!

Punk said...

You googled a test and didn't invite me?! What's the matter? You don't love me anymore? Is that what this is about? "Gosh, Jess has been so very useless lately. I guess I won't invite her to take an online test with me even though I know she loves the validation of test-taking."

Well, pshaw.

Pshaw on you.

tbsomeday said...

lol--you funny girl

i think i pick nutrition too! i cannot imagine all the questions a sex talk would bring to a 6yr olds mind...and then what they would get from it would be totally different than you were wanting to present

glad you are having fun
oooh, i like to take tests too...but these days i might not like the results

punks comments made me laugh...

Yankee Girl said...

I am too lazy to even read that equation on the bottom, let alone actually try and solve it!

My reading and writing skills were awesome as well. And I was right with you on the math section too. Oh well.

Grand Pooba said...

Hey the sooner they learn about sex the better. How else are we gonna have pregnant teenagers?

Right.

Anonymous said...

Just imagine what your children will have to talk about with the neighbors if you teach sex education. Remember when my kids told the neighbor kids that there was no Santa and the trouble it caused. I will not be teaching sex ed. here until they are ..... hmmm..... getting married! -mom-

Dione said...

I've tried to talk my kids into going outside barefoot and climbing the tumbleweeds... what a bunch of babies!

Amanda said...

An added bonus to an ER visit is that you'll get to play the game called, "Guess what unique and possibly made up painful illness this person has".

Have you seen 16 and pregnant? If you watch that show, you'll want to get right on that sex ed stuff before they get ideas in their heads like, "he said he would pull out"