Celebrities Are Liars

Someone in my house who is not me, of course, may or may not have spilled roughly ten ounces of ice water on my computer desk. The result of this alleged incident that was, as I've already stated, clearly not my doing is that only about half of the letters in my keyboard still work. I'm going to be honest with you: it was tempting to still blog with that keyboard as if it were still functioning properly and then post the unintelligible post that resulted. I decided to blog from my Touch instead. My sincerest apologies to all of you that are disappointed to not be "reading" the letterless post.

Blogging on the Touch can be tricky due to the automatic Spellcheck that changes words to completely different words that I personally have never heard of. Also, it's nearly impossible to proofread which should make reading this post that much more enjoyable for you. Anyway, I figured with all of these things working against me, I would keep this post short and just give you the bulletpoints of my day.

1. I followed a twitter link that promised to let me in on true secrets of how celebrity moms have such toned arms. Would you care to know the big secret? They carry their babies/children around and -- voilà -- perfect arms. Yeah, I have two kids of my own, and I've carried them around, and my arms still jiggle. I'm going to go ahead and call this out as a falsehood. Kind of like the time Gwen Stefani claimed that she lost all her baby-weight by breast-feeding. Mmhmm. I breast-fed my kids too. J.I.G.G.L.E. In their defense, perhaps the trick to great arms is in handing your baby to your nanny when your trainer shows up for your private

Have you ever noticed that after you read something like that, you feel dumber? I decided to take yet another online IQ test to see if I was, in fact, dumber for having allowed a celebrity's thoughts and opinions in my head. The answer: Yes, I am dumber than the last time I took a fake IQ test. I declare these findings to be as accurate as those produced by Sports Science.

I ended my day with a fat lady run.(FWIW my Touch just tried to change the word lady to party. Do what you will with that.) Generally, I can't run, not because I'm out of shape but because I get shin splints, and they hurt, and I'm a whiny baby. So I heard in a few places that running barefoot, you won't get shin splints. I walked to the high school track and gave it a shot. I enjoyed myself immensely. The jury is still out on whether or not it will solve the pain issue. I did discover, however, that running barefoot on a track will earn you blisters, and furthermore, if said track is blue, the bottom of your feet will turn that color too. Just a little wisdom I picked up today to replace the brain cells I lost earlier in the day.

I feel that it would be best if I quit while I'm ahead and call it a night.


Kathy said...

Yeah. The celebrity passes the baby to the nanny and then gets "trained" for the next six hours to tone up those arms. You got it!

tbsomeday said...

lol--you make me laugh
lady and party are very similar

about the running--yes--the barefoot thing is supposed to be much better and the new rage
they make "barefoot" shoes
something like "fivetoes" or something in the name of the most popular ones
would solve the blister/color problem

ps--good for you for running!

foxy said...

I soooooo wish I could've seen the letterless post. I'm convinced I could've figured it out eventually.

Rachel@just another day in paradise said...

Dear Smurf Feet, I too look like an idiot when I run AND get shin splints. However, I unwisely promised my skinny cousin that I would run a 5k with her. Wanna train "with" us? (And my keyboard went crazy while I was typing this, so I am, of course, blaming you.) : ) Good luck with the blistery blue feet.

Sara said...

How is it that all celebrity moms say they breast fed and the weight just "practically fell right off!" ?

That's why I LOVE IT when celebrity moms get thick after pregnancy.

Makes them almost human.


Amanda said...

Yeah it's 100% bullcrap because not only do the celebs have nannys, they have personal chefs and unlimited hours in the day to work out. Did you know Giselle Bunchen didn't ever buy maternity clothes..just wore her old size 0's and called it a day? Imagine how much dumber you'd feel if you read THAT article.

Sarah and the Gentlemen said...

I've got great muscle tone; too bad my fat covers it up.