My dad just turned 54 last week and we finally got him to go for that pesky colonoscopy. Only four years late but hey at least we got him to go. It turns out he had 5 large polyps in his colon. They removed them all and are sending them for testing. I would imagine that it takes a week or so to get results on such a test. Then we'll find out if they are cancerous or not.
Tonight I was snuggling Braden while he was falling asleep and I started to pray. My instinct was to pray that nothing is cancerous and we move forward 5 polyps lighter and cancer free. But then I paused. I was conflicted about how to pray. I see no shame or wrong doing in praying for what you want, but I believe that we are to seek God's will for our lives. What if what I want doesn't line up with the will of God? How do you pray then?
The truth is I believe that God has a plan for each of our lives. He clearly tells us so in the Bible. He even goes so far as to reassure us that His "plans are for good and not for evil". He doesn't necessarily say they are for our purposes or that they are even what we would interpret as good. His good might be a greater plan that we cannot see. One that shines a light on His glory. One that requires faith to find. God's purposes are often most clearly seen in the greatest of trials, whether it be cancer/sickness or loss or any other struggle we thought we didn't want. God has a purpose and in time those purposes will be revealed.
So I chose to pray that God would use this situation for His glory. I know that my parents would want nothing less.
In my own life, I've been having a terrible time forgiving someone in my family. The truth is I'm totally justified in my anger and hurt feelings but I know that God wants me to persevere through the difficulty of the situation and forgive and move forward with love for this person. A love I've so generously been given from Him in spite of myself and my choices.
And so we persevere and pray. In faith, with love for God's will.