Hey Trent Edwards, You Played Great. By The Way, Your Tie Was The Real Winner.

Things have been really busy over here since the start of school, and it's really been eating into the time I waste spend cherish reading up on my Bills. I did manage to find enough time to watch Trent Edwards' post-game press conference (I haven't forgotten my priorities). I liked his tie, and what he said was solid too.

I know you are all dying to hear my take on the Bills/Patriots Monday Night Football game. At least Dione is. She said so in her comment yesterday, and I'm sure she wasn't being sarcastic. I'm sure that she considered watching the game, but then noticed that TBS airs old episodes of The Office and watched that instead.

So, Dione, since you apparently think Dwight is better looking than my QB, and you begged and threatened to harm yourself if I didn't, I'll fill you in on the game.

The pre-game is as important as the game itself. Almost. Actually it's not even close to as important, but I'm going to blog about it anyway.

Sometime last week, I suggested to Tony that we play a drinking game during the pre-game show (from 6-7). Everytime the announcers said Tom Brady (they love him so much they can't stop talking about him), we'd do a shot of beer. Everytime they said T.O. (they hate him so much they can't stop talking about him), we'd do two shots of beer. I'm pretty sure that Tony heard the words "Drinking game" and didn't bother to listen to the rest and just said Fresh or True or something along those lines that indicated that he wanted to play. So last night at 6 when the pre-game started, we had our shot glasses and booze ready. By 6:05 we were falling behind on shots because the announcers had said Tom Brady more times than I mention how hot Trent Edwards is in a post. By 6:15 we were trying to figure out how many shots behind we had fallen behind, and T.O's name had started popping up. By 6:20, we had given up. I'm not sure the announcers said anything except Tom Brady, Tom Brady, (insert pre-taped interview with Tom Brady here), Tom Brady, T.O., (insert pre-taped video about T.O. here), T.O., Tom Brady, oh, yeah, football, Tom Brady.

Then there was kick-off, and I stopped breathing for three and a half hours.

Here is a video recap. To understand the emotions we went through, you can watch this or you can read my recap of one-liners (and by one-liners I mean rambly run-on sentences) after the video. It is important to note at this time that during my recap, I refer to the Bills as We (since I'm clearly a part of the team) and the Patriots as They or Them.

We scored FIRST. A touchdown. My boy Trent is looking good (and I'm not talking about his hair his actual game play looks good).

It's customary after a Bills touchdown at their stadium that they play the shout song. It's also customary that G.G. calls after every score. We always fight over who has to take the phone because she always call from the bar, and we can't hear her talking, and she can't hear us, and we spend a bunch of time going, "WHAT? I COULDN'T HEAR YOU. YEAH, BILLS. WHAT? YEAH, GO BILLS." And then we mumble, "The game's back on," and hang up on her. This time I answered. I didn't say hello or even put the phone to my ear. I set it on the desk in front of the speaker, and this is what she heard.

Then I hung up.

They score a touchdown (boo hiss).

Then, in the second quarter, with the game tied up, the great and mighty, future NFL Hall of Famer, "I married a supermodel in the offseason and now she's having my baby" Tom Brady threw a pick six (which means he threw the ball, our team intercepted it and then ran it back for a touchdown).

We are winning. We are excited.

They kick a field goal (3 points). We are unhappy.

I make Nachos for myself, CeCe and the boys. They are quickly devoured.

We kick a field goal. The score is 17 to 10. We are totally winning.

I become giddy and light-headed. Probably because I haven't taken a breathe in roughly 2 hours and 45 minutes.

They score another field goal.

We score a touchdown and extend our lead to 11 points with only 5:30 minutes left in the game. The only way the Patriots can beat us now is to score two touchdowns in 5 minutes. That, my good friends, is not easy.

In my jubilation, I jump up on the couch Tom Cruise style, throw my hands in the air and end up scraping my knuckles on the ceiling. I will later realize that I have drawn blood.

We dance to the Bills shout song for the fourth time, and I hear CeCe say to herself, "I love this song." Me too, CeCe. Me too.

The announcers notice Trent Edwards is on the field and mention his name in a positive way. Making the ratio of times they've said Tom Brady's name to times they've said Trent Edwards' name roughly 1 million to 1.

They score a touchdown. 2:06 left in the game. We got this. We are so beating the PATRIOTS!! This never happens! You've got to be kidding me! We are going absolutely nuts.

We fumble the ball.

Let me say it again because it wasn't painful enough the first time: WE FUMBLE THE BALL. Allowing the great and might Tom Brady back on the field, and do you know what he did? (If you watched the video, you know).

Coach ripped off his Bills jersey and slammed it onto the couch.

I started breathing again, and I might have cried.

I went to bed and prayed for a win next Sunday.


Dione said...

I held my breath the entire time I was reading your blog. First of all, I never said Dwight was better looking than Trent... How did you know?

I've never heard of Tom Brady before this post - I figured you were talking about Mike Brady's illegitimate child - and, while he may be handsome, he clearly does not have the hair to pull off an Edwards.

As for loosing the game, you said it was a pre-game. They're just psyching them out for the read deal, right? *sob*

Missy said...

Dione, the game was the real deal. The pre-game stuff was the drinking game.
I agree with you though, Tom Brady definatly couldn't pull of the Edwards, neither could Dwight for that matter.

Did you get everything straightened out with your computer?

Punk said...

I think this was a fabulous run-down of a nail-biting game. As a matter of fact, I'm so invested in your investment, I allowed myself a moment of shock when I saw on the Yahoo front page that the Bills' fumbler had his yard vandalized.

This is love, my shock on behalf of your football team. True love.

Sarah and the Gentlemen said...

That was a great run down of the game! I was thoroughly surprised that the Patriots won when I got the update from my husband at game's end. I wouldn't have been shocked had I not seen the score at the 2 minute warning because like you said, "This never happens." My condolances to you. I won't say that I wasn't a bit pleased though; I live in Steeler country. :0)